“You want to know my secret? I don’t mind what happens.”
Philosopher J. Krishnamurti
Everything wants, craves, yearns to be seen. That’s how I think about acceptance. I think of it as the seeing and the really-being-seen that we’re all seeking. Angry at yourself for being angry? Frustrated with your frustration? Heartbroken over your heartbreak? Pretending that anger, frustration and heartbreak have no place in your life at all? You need only acknowledge these deeply human emotions in all their realness to begin to feel them change.
Acceptance is the opposite of resistance. Acceptance is the deep, relief-inducing surrender to life’s current. It’s the acknowledgment that in the unfolding of our experience, we control very little, except, perhaps, how we show up for it. If we begin by accepting this, we arrive present and honest and raw, flawed, ready to be shaped. Some days we’ll be hit by the ragged, rushing whitecaps of tragedy or newfound love. On others, it will be the nearly still, imperceptibly moving, stream of experience that carries us towards our most heartfelt goals. Acceptance is our willingness to show up on the banks of the river, again and again, no matter what flow we find.
I think acceptance is one of the most liberating attitudes we can adopt in our mindfulness practice, both on and off our meditation cushion (if you have such a thing). I’ve written about this type of liberation before. More an ongoing effort than an attitude, I have found that practicing acceptance can help me move through grief, reach new depths of personal understanding, and prepare for action after long phases of inaction.
Acceptance also humbles us. A moment ago, you may have thought you could will the tides to turn, that you alone could stop the rotation of the earth, or the infinite expansion of the universe. Now at last you see, all this time you were no more than a tiny bumblebee trying to stop a tsunami. Now knowing this, you can fly free. You can mourn the time you spent trying to stop the onslaught, or you can laugh at the absurdity of ever thinking that it was your duty in the first place.
In his book Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat Zinn writes:
It helps us to acknowledge the ways in which we are extraordinary and miraculous without losing sight of the ways in which we are simultaneously nothing special, just part of a larger whole unfolding, waves on the sea, rising up and falling back in brief moments we call life.
You are indeed miraculous, and you cannot stop this unfolding process, the passage of time, the chaotic expansion of the universe. To try would not only be futile, it could also be damming. To accept the limitations of our power, and still show up wholeheartedly, is the first step we take towards seeing ourselves as we are, both extraordinary and nothing special. In this way, we see ourselves and others clearly. Everything yearns to be seen.
home practice
While we often conceive of meditation as sitting in stillness, we can also practice stopping without keeping our bodies still. For some, a moving meditation is far more appealing than a seated or lying meditation. For others, a moving meditation is a way to go beyond sitting – a first step in carrying the practice out into our days. This week’s guided practice is a walking meditation.
Traditionally, walking meditation is done over a span of a meter or two, and the walking is done back and forth across this short distance. The aim is not to get anywhere, it’s just to focus attention on the experience of walking, practicing, as always, to be present. The guided meditation I have recorded is intended to be used in this traditional way.
Alternatively, if walking back and forth in place isn’t for you, you can take this meditation with you on a walk to wherever you happen to be going (not having a destination is welcome).
If you’ve settled into a regular sitting meditation practice, you might want to try this even once this week, to see if a moving meditation feels different. If you enjoy walking meditation, there are thankfully many apps offering guided walking meditations. Here are a few:
I always recommend Insight Timer often for its wealth of free meditations from a wide spectrum of teachers, including many walking meditations.
Offering what it calls “activations”, as opposed to traditional meditations, I’ve heard good things about (but haven’t tried) the Superhuman app. It is a paid app, with a two-week free trial, that includes motivational audio to be listened to while walking, working out, commuting or cleaning.
If running is more your speed, I love the guided runs from Headspace and Nike which you can access for free on the Nike Running app. Settling into a long run can be a deeply meditative and perspective shifting experience.
guided practice
guidance for a self-directed practice
Find a quiet length of space at home where you can walk back and forth for the duration of your meditation, or step outside for a short walk in your neighborhood.
Stand with your feet hip-width apart and let your arms relax by your sides. You might close your eyes for a few breaths, or maintain a soft gaze. Feel the connection of your feet on the ground.
Begin walking, slowly and deliberately, paying careful attention to each step. Note the sensation of lifting your foot, moving it through the air and placing it back down. If it’s helpful, you can even say to yourself, “Lifting, moving, landing,” as you complete each stage of the sequence.
As you notice your steps, you might also expand your attention to capture your breath. You might notice that your breathing begins to sync with your steps.
Carry on like this, going slowly, and settling into a natural rhythm. If you’re walking back and forth over a small stretch, pivot every so often and go back the way you came. If you’re walking outside, loop back towards your starting point when you feel you’ve reached the halfway point in your practice.
As you come to the end of your walking meditation, allow the body to come back to stillness. Take a few moments to notice the breath. You might close the eyes again for a few slow deep breaths. When you’re ready, close the practice and return to your day.
for more
It’s not surprising that we need acceptance the most during life’s difficult times. After all, this is often when we resist our experience, refusing to accept the things we do not like or want. For these difficult times, I appreciate the wisdom in Pema Chodron’s book, When Things Fall Apart.
As always, reach out to me any time at taryn.greig@gmail.com or on Instagram @taryngreig.
Here’s to being here now.
In this 10-week series, I’ll be sharing weekly guidance on cultivating your own meditation practice. Weekly guides will be delivered to your inbox on Sunday morning and will include a reflection on one of the nine attitudes of mindfulness, practical guidance and a recorded practice that you may choose to use throughout the week. Feel free to share this resource with anyone who you think might appreciate it.